Thursday, December 1, 2011

EPIC FAIL... OR ADVENTURE?

Still processing the last few days.  Rewind – make that the last few months.  We (I) gave our groundbreaking presentation at Belmont.  Right.  Mixed reviews and mixed emotions – and it hurt.  I was very brave immediately after, but when adrenaline and shock wore off it began to sting.  I wanted it to be epic.  It was not.  It was “okay.”  Part of me wants to say “epic fail” – but that wouldn’t be true either.   I was not comfortable, and it showed. 

Now what?  I go to Daddy and hand Him my broken toy and see what He can do with it.  Daddy knows.  Compared to His plans for me this “just okay” workshop is a broken toy.  

I could say this is just an iceberg tip… an indication of a larger problem.  Or I could simply say it’s a course correction.  Or I could keep my mouth shut and let Daddy tell me what it actually is.  Like a leaf in autumn, these little deaths burn away the green and reveal the true colors underneath.  In the little death, beauty is revealed.  I can’t see it… I have no mirror for my experience, but if Daddy says it, He will make it so.

I do think He has placed a flame inside me… something that is burning the rubble away.  I do think He has dreamed a dream in me… something bigger than me that only He can do.  I do think He plotting a course for me, setting Himself as a star above me and is unlashing me from my safe harbor. 
I get scared – but I do trust Him.

Lead on Daddy…

2 comments:

  1. Lead on Daddy! I love that He leads so tenderly and yet boldly. Why do I often find myself lingering instead of following? -- Mary

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  2. Most people never "fail", because they never attempt. We Christ-followers have our sanctified ace-in-the-hole, Romans 8.28.
    And I am rather confident the pluses outweighed any minuses in your presentation...and the Molder is molding...and doing it well, wisely, and in His timeframe.

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